The Villain Era Isn't About Being Evil. It’s About Choosing Yourself

By Trinity Barnette

A villain era is a point in your life where you stop waiting for someone to save you—and realize that person has to be you.

It’s not about revenge. It’s not about being cold for the sake of it.

It’s about becoming your own hero, even if it makes you look like the villain in someone else’s story.

My villain era started five years ago.

Back then, I was drowning in depression. The kind that clings to your skin and makes you question whether life is worth it. I battled on-and-off suicidal thoughts until 2023. I turned 18 and realized: the games were over. If I didn’t lock in, I wouldn’t survive. And I wanted to survive. I wanted to win.

So I stopped self-sabotaging. I started choosing myself.

Did people like that? No.

But I wasn’t doing it for them.

I Used to Be a Chameleon

I spent my whole childhood walking on eggshells.

Shifting. Hiding. Trying not to rock the boat.

I was a chameleon, always changing colors to blend into whatever version of myself the world expected. It got exhausting.

So I stopped performing.

I let people walk out. I cut the toxicity. I became my own biggest fan—and my own worst enemy. I held myself accountable, but I also gave myself grace. That’s the key to a real villain era: it’s not rooted in hate. It’s built on self-respect.

The Psychology of a Villain

There’s a reason villains are often more interesting than heroes.

They weren’t born evil—they were made. Forged in silence. Molded by trauma. Hardened by betrayal. And what they become depends on what the world did to them—and what they did with that pain.

When trauma hits, you don’t just suffer.

You’re forced to adapt. You build armor around your softness. You sharpen your boundaries. And eventually, you make a choice:

Victim. Villain. Survivor. Hero.

Some people become one.

Some people are all four—depending on the chapter.

People love to ask, “How could she turn out like that?”

But no one asks what happened before the rage.

No one asks who ignored the cries, who gaslit the pain, who made her feel like her only option was to go cold.

“These violent delights have violent ends.” —Romeo & Juliet

That’s the reality of trauma: it can turn you into someone dark, even if you never wanted to be.

Some use that darkness to hurt others. Some use it to protect themselves.

Some become villains. Some become survivors.

The lucky ones? They become both—and learn how to wield the power without losing themselves to it.

Your villain era isn’t about revenge.

It’s about reclaiming your story before it becomes a cautionary tale.

It’s about becoming the kind of strong that doesn’t demand blood—but demands respect.

And the most powerful thing about that?

You get to choose what you become next.

A Shakespearean Tragedy (But Make It Feminist)

In Macbeth, Lady Macbeth says:

“What’s done cannot be undone.”

She was right. You can’t undo the things that broke you.

You can’t unlive the trauma or unsay the words that shattered your self-worth.

But what you can do is take that pain and decide what happens next.

I used to think my story was a tragedy.

Now I know it was a plot twist.

Because I chose to rewrite the ending.

The villain era is my Act V.

Not the part where I fall—but the part where I rise.

Where I stop trying to be palatable and start being powerful.

Where I stop living for others and start living for myself.

Revenge Isn’t Power. It’s a Distraction.

There’s a famous quote:

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” —(attributed to Confucius)

We romanticize revenge all the time. In books. In pop culture. In our heads.

And don’t get me wrong—it feels good to imagine getting even.

But revenge doesn’t heal. It just ties you to the pain longer.

Take it from Emily Thorne.

She dedicated her entire life to vengeance—and for what?

She lost years, relationships, and almost herself in the process.

Girly really needed my villain era tips because… let’s be real: she wasted her time.

She had power, but she used it to destroy instead of rebuild.

Revenge is about the past.

The villain era is about the future.

This era isn’t about getting even. It’s about getting free.

You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

You just need to become so solid in who you are that nothing can shake you again.

Chaos & Success Can Coexist

My villain era is a story of both.

It’s messy. It’s brave. It’s full of decisions that hurt in the short term but healed me in the long run.

This era is about knowing your worth. Prioritizing yourself.

Cutting bullshit out with surgical precision.

It’s understanding that no one can fix you but you.

And that no one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself first.

Everyone Should Have One

It hurts, yes.

But that pain? That’s the shedding. The rebirth.

The moment you stop being small to keep others comfortable.

Your villain era is a mirror.

Who do you want to see in it?

Let people be mad.

Let them call you difficult.

Let them label you selfish.

They’re just mad they can’t use you anymore.

Because once you find yourself—really find yourself—no one can take that away from you.

Enter the Era. Just Do It.

Make your villain era a healthy one.

Be the tarot card Hermit: pull back, sit still, reflect, and create.

Turn your pain into purpose. Your rage into power. Your silence into strategy.

Build the version of yourself you were always meant to become.

Not the one society wanted.

Not the one they could control.

The real one.

And then?

Show up. Fully. Boldly. Unapologetically.

Like Nike says: Just do it.