Rape Culture: The Reality Society Chooses to Ignore

By Trinity Barnette

Rape culture isn’t just about rape. It’s about the attitudes, language, media, and behaviors that normalize, minimize, or excuse sexual violence. And whether people realize it or not, we all live in it. It’s embedded in our jokes, our music, our courts, our schools—and especially in our silence.

This post isn’t just another reminder that rape culture exists. It’s a wake-up call—especially for men. My audience is 96% male, and I’m not going to sugarcoat this: you have a responsibility to do better. Not because you’re all perpetrators, but because you’re part of a system that often excuses or ignores the behavior of those who are.

What Is Rape Culture?

Rape culture is when survivors are blamed for what happened to them, instead of the perpetrators. It’s when people ask, “What was she wearing?” instead of “Why did he assault her?” It’s when boys are taught not to cry, not to feel, not to stop and ask for consent—but instead to pursue, push, and dominate. It’s when locker room talk is brushed off as “just being a guy.” It’s when survivors are disbelieved, and rapists walk free.

This culture thrives in silence, ignorance, and complicity. And the truth is, many men contribute to it unconsciously—by laughing at those jokes, ignoring red flags from friends, or thinking that flirting or persistence equals consent.

Let’s Talk Numbers

Let’s back this up with facts:

• 1 in 5 women in the U.S. has experienced completed or attempted rape

• 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact

• Only 25 out of every 1,000 rapists will go to prison

• 81% of women and 43% of men have experienced some form of sexual harassment or assault

These are not just numbers. These are your sisters, mothers, daughters, girlfriends, friends, and even you.

Yes, Men Get Raped Too

We also need to destroy the myth that male rape doesn’t exist. It does. And it’s underreported because of shame, stigma, and misinformation.

People assume men are “too strong” to be raped or that they should have been able to fight back. But rape isn’t about strength or attraction. It’s about power and control.

A man can be bigger, stronger, more “masculine”—and still be assaulted. That doesn’t make him weak. That makes him a victim of a crime. Period.

We need to create space for male survivors to speak, heal, and be heard. Male vulnerability is not a joke. It’s real—and it’s valid.

Rape Is About Power, Not Sex

Rape isn’t about desire. It’s about domination, humiliation, and the need to control another person. Perpetrators isolate victims, manipulate them psychologically, and attack when they’re most vulnerable. It’s calculated and private—and it’s never about what someone was wearing or how they acted. It’s about someone choosing to harm another human being.

That’s why you’ll see survivors of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. No one is “too strong” or “too unattractive” to be targeted. That’s not how this works.